Whether it’s confronting a tough situation at the office or trying to figure out if I’ll ever live the life I want, sometimes the existential crisis within can feel overwhelming. In times of unease, I’ve found strange comfort in reading advice columns—and before you assume I’m talking about Dear Abby (which is, by the way, great), let me assure you: there are a ton of modern advice columns that are serving up wisdom with a little flair and attitude.

Reading a good advice column works two-fold. First, reading questions from readers that mirror your own assure you that your problems are not unique. There is a lot of power in empathy and commiseration, and seeing myself in letter writers makes me realize that what I’m experiencing is normal and human. Second, advice columns can actually offer good suggestions or ideas, words that comfort you, rally you to action, fill you with strength and hope, and provide a different perspective of the world around you. There are many advice columns out there nowadays, but here are five that I have found most inspiring:

Dear Sugar

Dear Sugar was an advice column on The Rumpus, started by Steve Almond as the column’s anonymous titular advice-giver. In 2010, however, a new “Sugar” would arrive and later be revealed as Cheryl Strayed, now bestselling writer of her memoir Wild. The Sugar Cheryl Strayed created was a unique and powerful voice. She spoke unflinchingly from experience– sharing memories of her own that were as painful, sometimes more, as the plights of her readers. She created a space of love and comfort, a column where she referred to her letter writers as sweet peas but also constantly encouraged them to strive for more. Dear Sugar’s readers wrote in with very honest problems and questions, ranging across different ages and home life situations, and yet Strayed always managed to paint a cosmic portrait in which we were all connected by the same questions. The column hasn’t been updated since 2012, but the Sugars continue to exist with Steve Almond and Cheryl Strayed hosting an advice podcast, now available online.

Standout advice: “The narratives we create in order to justify our actions and choices become in so many ways who we are. They are the things we say back to ourselves to explain our complicated lives. Perhaps the reason you’ve not yet been able to forgive yourself is that you’re still invested in your self-loathing. Perhaps not forgiving yourself is the flip side of your steal-this-now cycle. Would you be a better or worse person if you forgave yourself for the bad things you did? If you perpetually condemn yourself for being a liar and thief, does that make you good?” (On being able to forgive one’s past)

Ask Polly

Ask Polly originated on The Awl and has since moved to NY Magazine’s The Cut. And while the site’s readership has shifted slightly in the move, “Polly,” aka writer Heather Havrilesky, continues to be the same brash beacon of hope for twenty-something women and beyond. Polly is the friend who tells it like it is, who gets on impassioned rants and is not afraid to get to the real root of your problems. Her voice is very stream-of-consciousness, but often it’s because her advice comes across more as a rallying battle-cry than polite “Yes Man”-ing. Her responses are the type that you print out and put on your wall, using it as a mantra in your every day life rather than leaving it as words on the computer screen.

Standout advice: “Listen to me closely now: The people who dare to ask for an expansive, life-altering love, who will be alone rather than settle for less, are the ones who find it. People who accept less, who figure they don’t deserve any better, who figure that it’s too much of a risk to tell the truth and scare men off, are the ones who live with a constant feeling of disappointment and neglect. When you neglect yourself and your feelings, you get neglected by others, too.

Stand up for yourself. Stand up for what you want. Does that make you That Girl?

Then BE. THAT. GIRL.” (On being That Girl and asking for what you want in a relationship)

The post Advice columns for when you can’t call your bestie appeared first on HelloGiggles.