On the rare occasion that someone asks me when my birthday is, my answer is usually meant with a look of pity. “That must suck,” is usually the response I eventually receive. “You probably get short-changed on presents,” is a pretty common follow-up.

The truth is, I’ve never had a problem with having my birthday on Christmas. It’s often my fun fact when I meet new people—it’s certainly memorable, though I do have a lot of old friends who still manage to forget. I am not particularly religious, but having a birthday on Christmas has given me a huge appreciation for the holidays. Not only do I love that the whole season leading up to my birthday is full of light and celebration, but having my birthday near the end of the year also makes every year older feel even more like a new beginning, as the year beings to wrap up and I have the time to reflect on where I’ve been and where I want to go.

More than anything, I don’t know anything different. People often remark about doing double duty on presents or having to “share” my day, but I don’t really know what kind of expectations I’m supposed to have of my birthday or Christmas when they’re not shared on the same day. I’m not someone who likes a lot of attention, so I don’t need a day to declare my own. I even like that, when people give me gifts, I can give them something as well, making it a reciprocal exchange. One drawback is that I often have trouble remembering other people’s birthdays unless it falls on a major holiday, but come Christmas time, I am in full giving mode, wanting to send cards and give gifts to let friends and family know how much I’ve valued how they’ve enriched the last year of my life.

The thing that I’ve observed about my friends’ birthdays is that they all celebrate them differently. Some go all out with a whole week of activities and big parties. Some shut themselves away for their birthday, choosing to let the day pass with no hoorah. Some friends want to celebrate but have no idea how. I once knew a guy who would spend his birthday reading about famous writers and artists who were famous before whatever age he was turning.

The common denominator I’ve found in the way that people celebrate their birthdays is that everyone seems to just want to spend the day feeling loved by the people they care about, and I think having a Christmas birthday makes me very lucky in this respect. The fact that Christmas is a national holiday has always been a gift, as it’s allowed me to spend almost all of my birthdays with my family in some form or fashion.

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